How To ACTUALLY Get Your Boss To Listen
Soft Skills • Software Development Career Advice
Learn proven strategies to get your boss to listen, convince your manager, and persuade them to act on your concerns.
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How to Get Your Boss to Listen: Proven Strategies from My Career in Tech
Ever feel like management ignores really good advice you give them on your software project? You see problems coming, you’ve tried so hard to warn them, but they just don’t seem to care? This is something many of us in tech have experienced, whether you’re a developer, UX designer, or QA specialist. Unfortunately, facts alone aren’t always enough to move managers. I’ve learned this the hard way over the course of 15 years as a software consultant.
In this article, I’ll share techniques that have worked well for me – when it felt like management wasn’t listening. These strategies are about getting your boss or other management to take notice of your concerns and ACT on them, even when you feel like you’ve done everything you can to get through to them!
Frame Your Feedback in Terms of Impact
The first strategy is to frame your feedback or suggestion in terms of an impact that matters to whoever you’re talking to. Early in my career, I would point out technical issues and expect that to be enough to get action from management. But simply identifying a problem isn’t enough; you have to connect it to what matters to them.
For example, let’s say there’s a problem with disaster recovery in your project, and your databases aren’t being backed up. Telling management “we’re not backing up our databases” won’t necessarily trigger action. However, if you know that your manager is concerned about keeping a big client happy, you can reframe it: “If the databases aren’t backed up and they go down, our big client might not get access to the system, and we could lose them.” Now, you’ve connected the technical issue to something that matters to the manager—keeping that client.
In my experience, this connection between the technical problem and the business impact is what gets management to pay attention. They don’t need to know every technical detail, but they do need to understand how it affects their bottom line or priorities.
Build Support from Peers and Allies
Another effective strategy is to build a group of peers and allies who can support you in convincing management to listen. If multiple people on your team are voicing the same concern, it amplifies the message and increases the chance that management will take it seriously.
A great example of this came from a CRM (customer relationship management) project I worked on. The company was considering switching to a new CRM system to save money. I was called in to evaluate it, and I discovered that the new system would end up being more expensive in the long run due to how it charged for API calls. I didn’t just tell the company that it was a bad decision based on the pricing structure. I built a case for it, showing them the numbers and gathering support from others in the company who had similar concerns. This collective voice helped sway management to reconsider their decision.
If you’re the only one raising an issue, it can feel like you’re the lone wolf. But when others back you up, management is more likely to see it as a real problem that needs to be addressed.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Not every issue is worth fighting for. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to choose your battles carefully. There are always going to be problems on a project, but not every problem is equally important.
In one of my early consulting projects, I was put under a manager who was new to Agile methodologies. I had been managing Agile projects for over a decade, and I knew that this manager might cause issues down the road. However, I chose not to fight that battle. If I had pushed to get the manager removed from the project, I might have come across as difficult or uncooperative, and it likely wouldn’t have gone well for me. Instead, I let it go, focused on the aspects of the project I could control, and built relationships with the other team members.
Sometimes, it’s better to let things play out rather than fight every battle. If you pick your battles wisely, you’ll save your energy for the issues that really matter and have a better chance of getting management to support you when it counts.
Introduce Changes Incrementally
Another tip I’ve learned is that introducing change incrementally is often more effective than presenting all of your concerns at once. I’ve seen talented architects and consultants overwhelm management by pointing out every issue they’ve noticed in a system, only to get little or no support. Why? Because it’s just too much at once.
“By breaking down your suggestions into smaller, more manageable pieces, you’re much more likely to get the support you need over time.”
Instead of bringing up multiple problems at the same time, focus on the most critical issue first. Present it in a way that’s easy for management to understand. After they’ve had time to see the positive effects of addressing that first issue, bring up the next one.
By breaking down your suggestions into smaller, more manageable pieces, you’re much more likely to get the support you need over time.
Don’t Stress Over What You Can’t Control
Finally, one of the most important lessons I can share is to let go of the things you can’t control. On every software project, there’s at least one difficult manager, a technical lead who’s hard to work with, or a QA person who nitpicks everything. If you try to change everything, you’ll drive yourself crazy.
Instead, focus on what’s within your control and let go of the rest. Trust is built over time. You don’t need to solve every problem on a project, and management isn’t always going to listen to every suggestion you make. But if you’re strategic about how you approach them, if you build relationships and focus on the most important issues, you’ll build the trust and influence you need over time.
So, are you frustrated because management isn’t supporting you right now? Try using these strategies to get through to them: Frame your feedback in terms of impact, build a support network, pick your battles carefully, introduce changes incrementally, and most importantly – don’t stress over what you can’t control! It takes time, but if you stick with it, you’ll get the results you’re looking for.
These strategies have helped me over the years to influence managers and clients who initially didn’t seem to care about the technical issues I was raising. I hope they can help you too.
About the THRIVING TECHNOLOGIST show
On YouTube and all major podcast networks, Jayme shares teamwork and leadership strategies, guidelines for healthy company culture, and stories about real projects so you can have a sustainable career in the software industry.
Jayme Edwards
A family man and veteran of nearly 40 software projects, Jayme experienced many wins and losses over his career as an architect and consultant.
Now he's coaching software developers, managers, and business owners to overcome challenges in the IT industry - so they keep growing.