Helping a Dev Manager Fix Team Culture

50:10

Coaching a dev manager to fix team culture with actionable tips for leadership, smoother transitions, and stronger engineering teams.

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Embracing the Shift: From Individual Contributor to Management

Ever been on a thriving software project, only to watch it change overnight when “professional management” steps in to standardize everything? I have, and it’s a common pain point among engineers who love the creative, fast-paced energy of the early days. Suddenly, it’s not about building cool things or innovating—but about scaling, operationalizing, and optimizing. The fun stops, the flexibility vanishes, and it becomes all about the process.

I recently coached a client named John, who found himself right in the middle of this shift. John was transitioning from a hands-on, tactical leadership role into the realm of true management. Our session dug into what this change really feels like, what gets lost (and gained), and how to navigate the journey if you’re an engineer eyeing leadership or already living through this transition.

Living Between Two Teams: The Consultant’s Dilemma

John’s experience isn’t unique. He found himself as a “middle person” between two very different teams—seated with one, but reporting, dotted-line, to another in a completely different country and time zone. He didn’t have a direct team anymore. Instead, he was in this floating, consultant-like role—helping facilitate and connect groups with different priorities, cultures, and even languages.

If you’ve ever been in a similar situation—bridging two worlds, responsible for leadership without the title or direct reports—you know it’s a weird place to be. John felt a bit unanchored, wanting to flex his leadership muscles but not sure what was expected. He hoped opportunities for leadership would arise but hadn’t clarified them with his stakeholders.

This is where many aspiring managers get stuck: You want to lead, but the path isn’t clearly marked. You’re recognized as valuable, but not explicitly told what your leadership should look like. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Leadership vs. Management: Which Path Do You Really Want?

A key breakthrough in our session came when we distinguished between management (governance, consistency, resourcing) and leadership (vision, inspiration, cultural influence). John had always thought leadership meant managing people—helping, coaching, overseeing. But as his role evolved, the people he’d be “leading” were now peers or even higher-ups: directors, senior engineers, and cross-functional leaders.

I asked John a tough question: If he had to choose, would he rather be the face of a vision, inspiring a team to new heights, or be the behind-the-scenes manager, making sure everything ran smoothly? After some reflection, he realized he was far more drawn to the idea of leading—creating culture, setting direction, and catalyzing change—than simply managing the day-to-day.

This is a critical distinction for anyone considering the leap from tactical work to management. Leadership is not about titles—it’s about the impact you have on how people think, work, and grow together.

Understanding the Software Product Lifecycle—and Your Role in It

We explored the stages of a software product’s life: startup chaos, growth scaling, and sunset maintenance. John had tons of experience in startups—wearing multiple hats, fighting fires, thriving on the energy. But he found the “sunset” stage (lean management, minimal change, status updates) uninspiring. What really called to him was that middle ground—the growth phase—where a product has found market fit, and the challenge is to scale up without losing what made it great.

But that’s exactly where so many managers get it wrong: They try to run the growth stage like the startup stage—urgency, pressure, constant firefighting. This burns out your best people and erodes the culture you need for sustainable success. The lesson: You can’t scale a business using startup tactics. You need discernment, process, and above all, a commitment to retaining your key talent as you professionalize.

The Culture Challenge: From Chaos to Cohesion

John was acutely aware that as projects grow, the energy shifts. The people who thrived on chaos often get bored when things settle down, and the risk is losing those early drivers. Conversely, some folks only become effective when there’s more structure. John saw that a leader’s job isn’t just to execute on deliverables—it’s to anticipate these shifts and help the right people transition at the right time.

I encouraged John to consider how he could help management recognize which team members would thrive in the next phase, and which might need new challenges. This isn’t just about “resource management”—it’s about protecting the culture and keeping the team energized. Sometimes that means moving people onto new projects proactively, not waiting for disengagement or attrition.

Turning Experience Into Opportunity: Consulting and the Leadership Niche

One of the boldest ideas we explored was whether John could eventually turn his unique experience—navigating these transitions—into a consulting niche. There’s real demand for leaders who can bridge the startup/growth gap, optimize staffing, and help companies retain their best talent during scale-up.

If you’re reading this and find yourself with experience on both sides of that divide, ask yourself: “Could I help organizations manage these transitions more effectively? Could this become my unique value proposition?”

Risks, Communication, and the Real Barriers to Effective Leadership

As the conversation drew to a close, John opened up about what had derailed him on previous projects: communication breakdowns, drifting goals, and being pulled in too many directions by teams with competing priorities. Sound familiar? This is the hidden killer of so many great projects.

We talked about practical steps: clarifying expectations, increasing the frequency and quality of status updates, and building relationships with stakeholders both locally and abroad. But we also touched on something harder—confronting authority when leadership above you is creating confusion or toxicity.

Many new leaders shy away from this. I used to as well. But learning to have these “crucial conversations”—sometimes even confronting those above you, tactfully and with empathy—is a critical skill. Books like “Crucial Conversations” and “Leading from the Bottom” became part of my own playbook for surviving (and thriving) in big organizations.

My Biggest Takeaway: Leadership Starts with Intention

The biggest takeaway for both John and myself was that leadership starts with intention, not position. If you want to move from tactical work to true management, you need to intentionally seek out opportunities to add value—by improving culture, surfacing hidden risks, and helping people navigate change.

Don’t wait for someone to “officially” promote you to leadership. Start building your reputation as someone who can anticipate, communicate, and align teams—regardless of your current title.

Final Thoughts: Advice for Aspiring Engineering Managers

If you’re a software professional contemplating the jump from hands-on contributor to true management, ask yourself:

• Do I want to set direction, or simply maintain order?
• Am I willing to invest in culture, not just process?
• Can I communicate up and down the chain—even when it’s uncomfortable?
• Am I ready to shape my career intentionally, instead of waiting for permission?

Every transition is uncomfortable. But if you’re willing to lean into the ambiguity, focus on the health of your teams, and practice open communication, you’ll become the kind of leader companies can’t afford to lose.

If you need guidance on making this transition yourself—or want to avoid the pitfalls I’ve seen so many engineers face—consider reaching out for coaching. Your next leadership leap could be the most important move of your career.

About the THRIVING TECHNOLOGIST show

On YouTube and all major podcast networks, Jayme shares teamwork and leadership strategies, guidelines for healthy company culture, and stories about real projects so you can have a sustainable career in the software industry.

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YOUR HOST

Jayme Edwards

A family man and veteran of nearly 40 software projects, Jayme experienced many wins and losses over his career as an architect and consultant.

Now he's coaching software developers, managers, and business owners to overcome challenges in the IT industry - so they keep growing.